woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
