Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
