I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
