Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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