All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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