I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
