Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
