I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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