im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
