Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
