i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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