wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i believe in u and ur pee
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