I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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