DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
