kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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