He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
