we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
