DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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