i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
