How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
