Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
