please come you make the beer taste better
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want nice things and good sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
