im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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