twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
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Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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