9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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