i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
