I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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