okay pat passed out under dana's car
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
