im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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