they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
