Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
