there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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