She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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