"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
