just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
