Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
