the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
