dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra