Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
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I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!