Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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