Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
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You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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