She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
