...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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