im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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