porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I need moral support for this bender
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
