you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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