All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
