dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
