and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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