i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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