Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize