I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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