the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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