He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize