My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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