it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
