Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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