She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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