Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
