One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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