You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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