I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
