Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up under a house in Key West
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
