Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
