Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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