we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
