I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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