I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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