What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
