dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
