yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this beer tastes like vomit already
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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