If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
